Memories of the Class of 1956!

Written by Norm de Guerre

Veggie Firefight—Fall 1956

Battlefield: Government Housing Area, Pierre, SD. Dateline: Fall 1956…about dusk. Players: Enemy forces: Frank Tucker and all his friends and their gals at a party. Enemy casualty projections: 100%. Delta Force: Six ten year-olds, siblings of the enemy contingent.

Battlefield scenario: Tucker’s parents out of town—party at Tuckers house. Directly across the street Sterling’s out of town…house empty. Forward observation post for Delta Force…Sterling’s roof. Weaponry—garden vegetables. Mission: Infiltrate, Search and Destroy, Escape. Variables: Enemy forces drinking beer. Delta Force motivated and trained in life and death missions.

Post battle briefing and strategy recap: The houses in the Housing Area, front to front, are close together…maybe 40 yards. Well within range and accuracy of Delta Force capability. Delta Force was in an elevated position on top of Sterling’s house. Enemy Forces were in a euphoric state of libido and compromised by alcohol in Tuckers living room. Visibility excellent. Delta could look right down on Enemy Forces encampment and through the front windows of the Tucker stronghold to observe real life developments. Ditches in front of each house parallel with a narrow road between.

Strategy: THE SETUP. Delta forces elected the fleetest of the fleet, Mike Jonas to be the ‘ringer’. A ‘ringer’ is the deliverer of the infamous ‘ring and run’ infantry strategy often used in similar military encounters. Quick in and quick out. Jonas rang Tuckers doorbell and split. Frank answered the door. Jonas was long gone. Delta force watched from their strategic perch across the street. PVT Jonas repeated the ‘ringer’ approach several more times. CPT Tucker was getting frustrated which was observed by the Delta Force from across the street. They were many—we were few. Logic was to assemble the enemy forces in one central location for one artillery folly that would make Mt. Rushmore’s 4th of July fireworks finale pale in comparison. The ‘ring and run’ strategy was working. Finally CPT Tucker assembled his men on the sides of the house in the bushes and gathered around the inside of the front door, in frustration, waiting in ambush--all carefully monitored by Delta Force forward observers across the street on the roof.

Final assault: THE STING! Jonas slid down the drain pipe in the back of Sterling’s house and slithered out to the ditch in front. With precise timing Jonas shot across the street into Tucker’s ditch unnoticed by enemy forces. He was only thirty feet from the objective. The drama was intense. Using whistle signals Delta Force directed Jonas on the final assault. At the opportune moment Jonas moved from his forward position in Tuckers ditch to the front of the Tucker stronghold still unnoticed crouching under the front window.

The tenseness of the situation was handled perfectly by PVT Jonas, well trained in similar combat situations, being a Housing Area brat. We understood completely The Secretary (Oahe Area Engineer) would disavow our existence if we were captured and we were well aware of the consequences of becoming a POW…it was called the Code of the Housing Area…or Dam workers Justice which would have resulted, for starters, in an ass whuppin’. Delta Force pressed forward to accomplish the mission. Artillery was on standby. Windage and elevation challenges had been perfected. Jonas, with his back to the front of the Tucker encampment with enemy forces on both sides of Tucker’s house and a dozen beer-crazed enemy combatants standing just inside the house, reached around the corner with the stealth of Rambo and rang the doorbell one last time. CPT Tucker and his band of renegades exploded from the house, followed by the women, and were met up in the front by his two infantry platoons coming from either flank.

Private Jonas instead of bolting, moved directly away from the onslaught and hid behind Clint Shimkat’s car parked in front, a pre-planned strategic move designed to bring the entire enemy forces into range and within the impact area. As the enemy forces parlayed together in front of the Tucker encampment the command of “Fire for Affect” was barked from the Delta Force’s lofty vantage point across the street. A street light between the two houses blinded the enemy forces as a 200 pound arsenal of tomatoes, cukes, squash, and musk melons rained on them from across the street. A total bombardment of stolen garden artillery streaked across the sky, appearing out of nowhere, into the waiting enemy forces, in a show that would make the missile offensive of the Gulf War on Baghdad pale in comparison. The Tucker militia were covering their heads, falling on the ground, and being pummeled by the barrage of veggies. Casualty enemy headcount: 100%. Delta Force wounded (two) from laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

Since the statutes of limitation on a military offensive such as this are limitless, we prefer to remain anonymous only to say that some of the casualties were our own brothers and sisters, several of the classmates of the PHS Class of ’56 with whom we still have relationships both in family and business, and others influential in the business world and prominent Pierre citizens. The embarrassment of them having to deal with this situation some 55 years later might be more than their fragile egos can handle. All we can say is that we were the real studs of the housing area, although our voices hadn’t cracked yet, and most of us graduated from PHS (Riggs) in the classes of ’64 and ’65. And all of us were Dam Bro’s. Jonas was awarded the Housing Area Medal of Honor for heroism, the other five, including Jonas, went on to become real military members some serving in Vietnam and others in other areas of the world. There successes are a matter of record. Their training grounds were in Frank Tucker’s front yard. Our success drove Frank to enlist in the Air Force to learn aerial warfare….he went on to become a LTC in the Air Force, served in Vietnam and completed the academics for Air War College….we drove him to do it…embarrassment will do that to ya!

Kids 1, Tucker 0.

PM—(Class of ’65) “Spirit always beats the sword” Napoleon

Norm de Guerre, February, 2011

Farm Memories